As a new mom you may wonder how you could have more if the first is this hard! I’m here to tell you my first was the hardest. Part of it was because I was a first time mom, yes, and hadn’t done any of this before. I was trying to figure out how to get him to sleep through the night and this and that but the biggest reason I didn’t realize until I had more kids- he had no one to play with but ME. No older sibling to watch dance around, no one to explore the lid drawer with. I was all he had and depended on to play with him, help him learn to entertain himself, and have companionship with.
This sounds cute and all, being best friends with your baby, but in real life it’s an annoying pain sometimes! Life is life-calls need to be made, dinner needs to be cooked, your workout needs to get accomplished, laundry needs to be folded and you can only do so much with one arm available.
My first born is the only baby I used a carrier for a LOT. He never got separation anxiety from me but he always wanted to be held or at least able to see what I was up to. One time I remember trying to get dinner ready while he cried and didn’t want to be alone in the living room…so I strapped him to me in the infant carrier. One minute later he was whining again! I remember thinking hey I’m not gonna hold you if you are going to cry either way. Might as well put you down and save my back! But then I realized he was whining because I was chopping onions and he was closer to them being in the carrier. Poor cutie! It’s hard to stay empathetic to them, even when you are their world, because you need your own time too.
Dont get me wrong, my arm still feels like it’s gonna fall off once in a while with my 4th baby and he has 3 siblings! But it is an extremely less attention demanding situation because he has sisters who play with him and he can follow around and explore with.
I love that my babies love me. I love holding them and reading to them and laughing and dancing and singing with them! But life goes on and even though I try to cherish the moments and seal in the special memories, someone has to make dinner and keep the clothes washed and sweep the floor so mice don’t invade!
My 2nd baby was 6 months old when she and her older brother got interested in playing with each other. He loved to hold her for brief periods from the time she was born and try to sing or tickle her but they couldn’t really interact until she was pretty good at sitting up.
I have been there with having a first child and it’s tough. Babies demand your constant thoughts and attention. It’s helpful to prep dinner as early as you can, it’s helpful to have your baby try sitting up higher where he/she can see what is on the counter and what you are doing. I either put my baby in his high chair to be involved in what I am doing or in a walker that sits him up a little with a towel wrapped around him since he can’t really sit up by himself yet. I have used walkers with every baby as their sit-up aid starting after they hit 3 months old. I never used a bumbo chair because I felt like my baby was going to get tripped over or fallen onto. The walker is higher and I feel like they are more protected. Babies need to learn to self-entertain. Don’t feel guilty about putting your baby down to see how they do without constant attention BUT be understanding if they cry…if you don’t interact with them-who will? You got this, friend!
Jexi Burke